A few fun facts I learned during my month in the desert for my family medicine rotation:
- “Hip pain” very rarely actually involves the hip joint.
- 126 degrees is HOT.
- “If in doubt, take it out.”
- Very few people actually know what “urinary or fecal incontinence” means, and I have not figured out another professional way of asking if they’ve peed themselves.
- Don’t clean out your ears with Q-tips.
- Reading on the toilet will give you hemorrhoids.
- Patients who come for med refill appointments are rarely in a good mood.
- Theres almost nothing you can’t inject with cortisone and hope it will go away.
- The words we speak to our patients and the words we put in our SOAP note are not the same language.
- i.e. when I write “PE displayed purulent discharge draining from the posterior aspect of the tympanic membrane with a positive air/fluid level and splaying of the cone of light”, what I actually said to the patient was: “I see some pus in your ear.”
- Apparently I’m the type of person who looks like they don’t know how to spell “raccoon.”
- Pelvic exams come in threes – as do cases of gout and narcotic seeking minors.
- Jokingly recommending to your patient that they can cut down their caffeine use by substituting cocaine may not be the greatest idea, as they may take you seriously and report this to your attending (who thankfully has a better sense of humor than the patient).
Cheers family med – I liked you surprisingly more than I expected to.
Next stop: OB/GYN.
So if you happen to see me in the corner crying, its because I’m spending my days being yelled at by hormonal pregnant women (Dreams DO come true haha).